A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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