he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
