I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
