Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
