How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
