Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
