My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
