I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
