This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
