ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
