Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who did Billy Mays play for?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
