I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
