i just had sex bonerless
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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