a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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