I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
