East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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