True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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