I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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