My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
