what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
