Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
