too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
