ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
