D3 body, D1 cock
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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