I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
