well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
