i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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