On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize