i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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