so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
