Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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