so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Mom said you looked used
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
