Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Green mimosas i think yes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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