I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
