He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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