Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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