we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
