i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Congratulations! We have a period
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