u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
