The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
