I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
