I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
