We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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