He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
