I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
