You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
how drunk are you?
Several
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
