A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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