i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
