Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
