now i know why i became what i already was.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
